←I'm out.

Some of this might not be in English, and most of it will be in broken English. My apologies.


What the fuck happened?

Truth be told, I don't remember any fucking html at all. I'm just coyping the code from my previous inputs, hoping it will work. It's been more than a year. How is that possible? This is one of the things that frighten me the most. Disappearing, changing. I'm not even frightened of death, in itself. I'm scared of changing after death, which is inevitable. Maybe I should come back here, steal some more code from the source code of the pages I like, don't think about it too hard. But all I can do is drink, read pretty fucked up shit on AO3 and listen to MSI, thinking about times that never were and never will be. Shit, it's like I'm going back to 2013, which was my emo phase. Hey, us younger kids had to do since we missed the peak emo times.
Here's to another year of absence. Cheer. I hope you couple who end up here have a good year.

About the SADisfaction of reading.

Has it ever happened to you that you were afraid of reading a book in fear of finishing it? Well, that happened to me. I saw a trailer for Good Omens (coming 31st of May!), and seeing that the book's written by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, I HAD to read it. And now I finished it. And now I feel like my life's lost sense again. It's quite silly, I know, but the experience was so great and immense, it kept me fulfilled for the whole three days I was reading it. And now it's gone.
On a brighter note, the show airs on 31st of May, so I have a reason to keep me excited until then.

De impetratrice Sporo, quae ab 67 AD ad mortem sui viri imperatoris Neronis in tenura erat.

Trigger warning: Brief mentions of suicide and rape
Sporus, supposedly born in 51 AD, was a slave - puer delicatus , in whom the Roman Emperor Nero found liking, had him castrated and then in 67 AD married him as his wife.
The thing is, Sporus bore an uncanny resemblance to Nero's second wife Poppea Sabina, who died in 65 AD (rumours say her death was due to Nero kicking her to death, although I find death during childbirth more probable). Either way, Nero was heartbroken, therefore it's no surprise that he found solace in the man who looked so much like her. Unfortunately for Sporus, that meant that Nero had him termed "Lady", "Empress" and "Mistress" and even called him by his dead wife's name.
In 68 AD, shortly before Nero's death, during the Calends celebrations, Sporus gave him a gift - a ring depicting the Rape of Proserpina (Persephone) - Pluto (Hades) abducting a young woman in order to marry her and make her live in Underworld with him.
Soon after Nero died Sporus remarried - to a high officer and a campaigner for the emperor's title, Nymphidius Sabinus, who also called him "Poppea". Nymphidius was killed by his own guardsmen.
He was then, in 69 AD, involved with Otho, who managed to reign for 3 months before he commited suicide after a lost battle against his rivals. Otho had been married to Poppea before she married Nero, so that might explain his intentions.
After Otho's death Sporus fell into the hands of Otho's rival, Vitellius, who, probably thinking that he is incredibly clever and witty, intented to have an re-enactment of the Rape of Proserpina during a gladiator show, all violence included, with Sporus starring as Proserpina in the show. He avoided that fate by commiting suicide.
While I was researching about Sporus, I found three sources.

  1. The first source concluded with a simple fact - That Nero marrying Sporus is a clear evidence that all men secretly hate women to that extent where they'd rather marry a man looking female than deal with a real woman.
  2. The second source stated that Nero's and Sporus' marriage is exactly why same-sex marriage should be outlawed. To prevent any further perversions of such kind.
  3. Third source showcased Sporus as a brave transgender man in the I. century AD.
I wish they would see it as it was. I wish that people wouldn't try to make everything about their own oppinion. I just wish that people would treat Sporus' legacy with respect. After all, he did not commit suicide to escape abuse only for his story to be abused 2000 years later.